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I don't picture myself as a normal person when I play football, and I don't think anyone else pictures me that way as well.
For me, playing the game of football, obviously there's a lot of emotions going on. But I always like to keep calm and just be myself.
I let football drive me crazy. If we lost, I would shut myself away for two or three days, not sleeping, torturing myself about what I did.
I'd call myself a street footballer, that's where I learned my tricks, and through football I looked at the big players, I think it really helped me.
I don't think I could ever describe myself as unlucky because people would look at me, playing football for a living, and say: 'Are you winding me up?'
It makes me very happy when I create goals or score goals myself, but the most important thing is that the team reaches its goal and plays positive football.
I actually had a nickname as a player myself. When I played high school football in Texas, strong safety, they called me Choo Choo because they said I hit like a train.
Back then I said to myself 'screw football.' Actually I just took part in this camp as there was nothing better for me to do. They also didn't draft me because they thought I was too wild and undisciplined.
The things that are happening to me are unbelievable. I'm actually busier right now than when I played football. This is almost like I'm coming back out of retirement. It will be fun to see myself in the game.
People said: 'You're too big to play football,' but I kept playing and it just happened that people have caught on to me and taken to me. The nicest thing I get from it is that I can be myself and people seem to like it.
In football, I'm not so old. At 52, maybe I have 20 years in front of me to coach. But I feel myself as... you might say an 'old fox.' Nothing scares me; nothing worries me too much. It looks like nothing new can happen for me.
Look, I'm an entrepreneur, I want to create things, I'm a builder. I don't want handouts. If I didn't play football I'd be doing something else. That's me. I don't want to be held back. I want to go forward. I want to better myself.
The football field was a place where I could express myself and just be me. Play the game as well as you can and that's what you're judged on. Not the colour of your skin, or your beliefs, or the conversation you have around racism.
I used to show my emotions too much. I had to get rid of that because the opposition would notice and start to target me. If I did something wrong, I would take it out on myself, but it is important in football to concentrate for 90 minutes.
I appreciate what I have and, when people called me flash in the past, it hurt. I read an article not long ago saying I had given up all the bling and was concentrating on my football. Forget the football articles, that was one of the most satisfying things I have ever read about myself.
A friend got attacked outside a nightclub just for being deaf. I stuck up for him but ended up getting in a bit of a trouble myself. I played with a tag at Stocksbridge. I had a little curfew. Luckily, it didn't stop me playing football. Being put on a tag, I could have lost playing football again.