Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Marijuana grows naturally...Don't you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don't know, unnatural?
Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that.
Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...
Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.
I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties.
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States...23,000 deaths from handguns. But - there's no connection.
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.
Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.
It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?
I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?...No, it's not...That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve.
It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.
What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."
I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.