Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.
CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.
It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.
Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?
What I try to do in writing any character is to put myself in his position.
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.
If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride to not be human.
I'm a man of few words." "If you read more, you might have a larger vocabulary.
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only 1:30 now-what'll I do 'til then?
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
But for my own example, I'd never believe one little kid could have so much brains!
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
The more words you have at your disposal, the more precisely you can express yourself.
You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
Buttons ... check. Dials ... check. Switches ... check. Little colored lights ... check.
I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin