Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Koreans are hilarious.
I never wanted to be road comic.
When I found stand-up, it was like finding home.
Texas is the crossroads of the world. Everything here is big.
With Bitcoin hard-coded to be limited, it’s like a collectible.
When 'MADtv' got cancelled, I didn't work at all - for three years.
I have many favorite vacation destinations, but my favorite destination is Maui.
I know I can get laughs anywhere, in front of any crowd, if I'm given the chance.
As I get older, I don't think the world is becoming that funny. Comedy is changing a bit.
Stand-up is the only thing I have complete control over. There's something to be said for that.
I'm in this business, man, and I honestly don't know anything about show business at all. I don't know how it works.
I like Columbus, Ohio, because it's Pleasantville for real. They have the nicest white people I have ever met, and I mean that!
I'm one of those people that will walk into a bar, and if I wasn't a comic - because some people know who I am - I would just blend in.
It's not that comedy has changed in terms of what's funny. For me, it's changed in that sometimes I don't feel my finger is on the pulse.
I'm hoping that, over the years, people will come back to 'MADtv' and think it isn't that bad. We had some really talented people on there.
I think I am against stereotype. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet - they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.
People think I am crazy because they see me doing stand-up, but I am generally not. I am very sad. I'm one of those guys that lights candles and listens to Rachmaninoff.
I guess I am handsome - in certain parts of the world. If I was, like, in Mongolia, living on a mountain and in my village, I could be the hottest guy. In L.A., I'm ... average?
Shopping in Thailand is super cheap and generally high quality. Bangkok is also safe. If you see anybody wearing camouflage holding a machete, don't be scared. They sell coconuts.
I guess I am in handsome - in certain parts of the world. If I was, like, in Mongolia, living on a mountain and in my village, I could be the hottest guy. In L.A., I'm... average?
I think people just think I am crazy because they see me doing stand-up, but I am generally not. I am very sad. I'm one of those guys that lights candles and listens to Rachmaninoff.
I love Dallas, Austin and Houston. Why? Because some of the best comedians, like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison, started their careers in Texas, and because the crowds there are comedy-educated.
People treat you like s*** when you're a doorman or a busboy. I licked envelopes for eight hours a day for this management company and cried half the time I was there while the managers were on the phone working.
Two things, generally, for me, is what life is about. And they're not funny. Living in the moment, is one. And No. 2 is getting out of yourself and helping other people. Because all of my suffering stems from thinking from myself.
Generally, I am just myself, a crazy John Belushi type. But I'm not comparing myself to him. I think I am against stereotype. Generally Asian guys are more quiet - they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.
You gotta understand, there are two different kinds of Asians - the kind who are good at school, obey their parents, go to college - that kind of stuff. And then you have my family - me, my brother, all of my cousins - we're just wretched people.
I went to Tokyo three years ago. It was a job, though. I did an ad campaign for IBM, so they flew me out there to take pictures of me. It was IBM Global. It went to Australia, France, London, all over the world. But I think the ad campaign was a failure, because of me.
A lot of people that are in the disease of drinking and using can be caught up on the denial aspect of it. I don't have a problem with that. I am very sensitive. I can just feel when things are getting out of control and I go, 'Oh, you have to deal with this. Because you can die.' I've always sort of had that.
For a while last summer I was depressed because nothing was happening. It got to the point where people like me were getting films, so I decided to focus on stand-up. It kind of saved my life. I hate to be that dramatic, but I got a girlfriend and refocused my life on being more real and living a regular life rather than pursuing this other false goal of television and movie stardom.