Quotes by Chris Farley - Page 1

I want to live fast and die young.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Live Fast
Want
Young
Die
Fast
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I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Rivers
Saturday Night Live
Vans
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Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Fall
Falling Down
Fatty
Laughing
Everybody
Down
Falls
Laughs
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You gotta fight for your right to vote!
Chris Farley / Comedian
Fighting
Right To Vote
Vote
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Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Brother
Hands
Hug
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I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Doctors
Littles
Weight Problems
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In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!
Chris Farley / Comedian
Kings
Land
Reality
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In the land of the skunks, he who has half a nose is king.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Half
Land
Who
He
Nose
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I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Demon
Stills
Weight
Demons
Still
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You enter strong and you exit strong, and you're going to be OK.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Exit
Strong
Enter
Ok
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I can't help it. I want to be a good Catholic, but I'm a hedonist.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Catholic
Help
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I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!
Chris Farley / Comedian
Chocolate
Pudding
Sheep
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Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Character
Different
Play
Basically
Volumes
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I signed on as the clown, and, by golly, I'll keep up my end of the bargain.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Clown
Bargain
Signed
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The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Crazy
Do You Know
Fairy
Glue
Guarantees
Crazy Know How
How
Guarantee
Point
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I don't know what the future holds. All I know is, I'm good today. Real good.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Future
Good
Real
Today
Holds
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I have a nice apartment now that's all taken care of. I make my bed every day.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Apartment
Bed
Day Care Every Day
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I went and worked for my dad after school. I'd show up late and stuff like that.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Late
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First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Firsts
Rivers
Years
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Everyone is treating it like a Hollywood story. In Madison, it's a neighborhood story.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Hollywood
Madison
Neighborhood
Treating
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I seem to get motivated a few months at a time, and then something stressful breaks the routine, and I just fold.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Months
Routine
Stressful
Breaks
Few
Fold
Seem
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I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Bones
Bulls
Looks
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I was glad to be sober, but after ninety days, people weren't patting me on the back anymore, sayin', 'Good job on the sobriety! Go get 'em!'
Chris Farley / Comedian
Glad
Good Job
Ninety
Sober
Good Me People
Anymore
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The great comics can fall on their faces, but then they can say, 'Oh, baby, you're the greatest.' They show their heart and their vulnerability.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Faces
Fall
Vulnerability
Comics
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Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Fame
Had Enough
Would Be
Bank
Everyone Else
Exempt
Human Being
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When I got outta school, I didn't know what I was gonna do with my life. I knew I didn't have much in the grades department, and so I was very fearful. A whole lot of fear.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Department
Fearful
Grades
Life Fear My Life
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New York was scary, coming from the Midwest. At first, I thought I'd come in all cocky, like, 'I'm gonna bring this town to its knees!' After about a month, I was like, 'I wanna go home.'
Chris Farley / Comedian
New York
Cocky
Midwest
Scary
Month
Wanna
Bring
Coming
Go Home
York
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Although I love this kind of comedy, sometimes I feel trapped by always having to be the most outrageous guy in the room. In particular, I'm working on trying not to be that guy in my private life.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Comedy
Guy
Outrageous
Particular
Private Life
Trapped
Life Love Always
Life Love Sometimes
Although
Room
Private
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People need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'
Chris Farley / Comedian
Average
Laughing
People
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People... need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'
Chris Farley / Comedian
Average
Guy
Honey
Time May People
Average Guy
Bad
Banana
Head
Laugh
Peel
Screen
Slip
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I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But I'm curbing them because I want to continue to do comedy, and the two don't mix. So I try to fight those demons.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Battle
Comedy
Fighting
Flesh
Two
Weight
Demons
Fight
Mix
Tendency
Toward
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I went down to Chicago to try to go into a place called Second City. I auditioned for that and got in pretty quickly, but I couldn't stop partying. They gave me a warning: 'If you do it again, we're gonna kick you off the main stage.'
Chris Farley / Comedian
Chicago
Second City
Warning
Partying
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There's no control in life, is there? There's only one who's in control, and He'll take me when He wants me. I don't want to know about it. It's none of my business. But when it happens, I just ask that it won't be painful and that He forgives me my sins.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Business
Happens
Painful
Ask
Control
Life Me Control
Life Business Me
Forgives
No Control
None
Sins
Wants
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I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a treadmill and with the weights, but it was driving me nuts. So I escaped. Tom Arnold picked me up and we went to Le Dome and had tons of desserts.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Monica
Nuts
Pounds
Santa
Santa Monica
Trying
Work Me Lose
Month
Arnold
Center
Desserts
Dome
Escaped
Weights
Picked
Treadmill
Tom
Tons
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I remember one time when all the nuns in my Catholic grade school got around in a semicircle, me and Mom in the middle, and they said, 'Mrs. Farley, the children at school are laughing at Christopher, not with him.' I thought, 'Who cares? As long as they're laughing.'
Chris Farley / Comedian
Mom
Catholic
Laughing
Middle
One Time
Remember
Said
School
Who Cares
Time Me Long
Time Mom Me
Time Mom Long
Cares
Christopher
Grade
Grade School
Mrs
Nuns
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I used to think that you could get to a level of success where the laws of the universe didn't apply. But they do. It's still life on life's terms, not on movie-star terms. I still have to work at relationships. I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons.
Chris Farley / Comedian
Law
Stars
Thinking
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Chris Farley Quotes - Page 1

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