Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.
I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy.
My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen.
I eat meat because meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty dam good!
It's human nature for people to expect people to be what they see on the screen.
He [ Campbell Scott ] is also a really funny guy which not a lot of people know.
I'm pretty much a chocolate guy. I'm up for any type of chocolate. Any chocolate.
It's hard to have a film and television career and do music work at the same time.
I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention.
I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.
Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.
Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I really want to do a western film. It's one of my favorite movie genres of all time.
Everybody's vying for people's attention in terms of eyeballs, earholes, and dollars.
I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.
If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.
My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.
Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad
Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.
I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.
I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.
I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?
The Social Wishlist on Facebook is a great example of everything right about social media.
Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do.
All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?
I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.
My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.
If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.
I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.
I'm no day at the beach. And if it is a beach, it's Hampton Beach. Ever been there? It's not nice.
All knowledge is ultimately rooted in metaphorical (or analogical) modes of perception and thought.
The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.
Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh.
When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in the city? Lock and load! You're going down!
There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."
Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual
Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America.
Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.
I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.
I would have to commit a crime and have cops chase me. That would be the only way to get me to jog five miles.
The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film.
Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup. That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup — that's it.
If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it`s the NHL`s fault
When you write about real life, there's always a chance that somebody involved is going to see it and get upset.
You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.
Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever.
Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently.
I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory.