Fran Lebowitz Quotes - Page 3

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The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.

I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.

I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.

Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.

Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.

Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.

People always say "pop culture." As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.

If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.

Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.

[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.

I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.

Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!

You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.

What I can't be is monogamous. That tends to upset people. I just don't like domestic life.

Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.

I don't care if New York avoided bankruptcy by substituting tourism for the garment business.

Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.

This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.

Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.

I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.

I write a sentence a thousand times, changing it all the time to look at it in different ways.

The only appropriate response to the question, 'Can I be frank?' is, 'Yes, if I can be Barbara.

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.

To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire.

If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.

I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.

There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.

[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell.

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.

That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.

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