Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I like that Barack got that job.
I play myself on everything I do.
I'm a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.
Every guy should own one good pair of jeans.
With sitcom writing, you're trying to write stories.
In my hometown of Chicago, I'm kind of a medium deal.
Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment... Thank me.
I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.
'SNL' is the first real job I've held for more than a month and a half.
I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.
I don't seek out love or relationships, just because my schedule is crazy.
I haven't really tried to write a movie. It's tough to get into that mode.
I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.
I don't argue with people... if they say I'm not funny, they're right, for them.
I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.
I smoke occasionally, but it's not a part of my routine. I mean, I don't need it.
I didn't really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.
I like getting 'Times' articles online. But the actual paper just has too many words.
I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.
I'd like to be remembered as good person and as one of the best comedians of my generation.
Carbondale, Ill. is where I went to college, and it's where I first started putting on shows.
Dave Chappelle is one of my comedic inspirations. His perspective is crazy, and he's super sharp.
I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.
'Inside Out' - that was a really good movie. That's the first animated movie I saw since 'The Lego Movie.'
My dad named me after Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general who attacked Rome. But nobody knows about him.
There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'
When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.
We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.
I'm not like a super duper sneaker head. I got a couple pairs, but I'm not a "stand in line for sneakers" type of dude.
I think it's a tough transition. It's easy to go from comedian to rapper, but to go from rapper to comedian is tougher.
I remember 'Def Comedy Jam' being a big deal and kids talking about it in school, but it was never, 'I want to do that.'
When I'm doing shows I don't need much from a city. All I'm looking for is a good meal and a decent spot to have a couple drinks.
I need to have something else going on. I'm able to write a lot if I have an episode of 'Friday Night Lights' going on my computer.
I could maybe coach kids' basketball. I know enough about basketball where I feel like I could coach 12-year-olds pretty effectively.
People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he's like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy.
I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.
If I ever have downtime, I'm usually sitting in my place playing video games. Or eating sandwiches somewhere, or watching sports some place.
'SNL' doesn't have a traditional writer's room. On Monday, there's the pitch meeting with the guest, and I played that like it was stand-up.
I'd like to get more bit-acting roles. I don't know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines.
I like to drive nice cars; since I live in New York, and I don't drive there, it's a novelty to be on the road and drive and listen to my music.
Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.
If you want to do anything, you got to go do it. Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.
When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.
When people go through something rough in life, they say, 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.
My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.
I don't like to post fresh standup material, because I want to use it in a special. The stuff I like to post online I like to be off-the-cuff moments.
I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.
For me... you know, the most I've paid for a haircut was in Australia. Usually I go to a black barber or a Latino barber. I can't just go into Supercuts.
I skipped kindergarten because I was reading at a pretty high level. That's a weird and cocky thing to say, but I was real sharp, and I knew that early on.
I'd like to get more bit-acting roles. I don't know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines. I'd kill it.