Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I love smart comedy.
I am hard-core middle class.
Israel is near and dear to my heart
I'm still bald, I just wear a toupee.
I think with challenge comes a little more fun.
But I didn't know much about directing a movie.
People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live.
I still don't know much about directing a movie.
Comedy works best when people recognise themselves.
I have always wanted to play Sweeney in 'Sweeney Todd.'
What is it about Iowa? I'm the shortest guy in the state.
Is it my end-all and be-all to become a standup comic? No.
Directors get to fire on many more cylinders than an actor.
As George Costanza would say, when they're applauding, stop.
I was a shy and insecure kid and didn't know quite where I fit.
I have no illusions about having another 'Seinfeld' in my life.
Well, let's put in this way, I grew up in West New York, New Jersey.
I'm actually one of the more reluctant celebrities you will ever meet.
I think that I have very few personal gifts to bring to real politics.
I'm not a director to make an action or horror film. That's not for me.
I cannot tell people who are struggling that I come first. I just cannot.
I started balding at age 17 and after first being sad, I really embraced it.
Poker is just a hobby I'm passionate about. It's not supposed to bring glory.
Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened.
Most stand-up comics relish performing 'in one' - solo. They like the autonomy.
Comedy lives on in the web and TV, but nobody's pressing comedy albums anymore.
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my sons school overcome a learning disability.
One of the downsides of being a poker pro is that people see exactly how you play.
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability.
I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.
The pilot of 'Seinfeld' was made and dropped. 'Seinfeld' was not supposed to go to series.
We made a deal that was acceptable to us. We got paid very handsomely for our final season.
It specifically says in the Torah that you can eat shrimp and bacon in a Chinese restaurant.
The greatest part of the job was... that was for nine years it was a pleasure to go to work.
I'm a singer and performer in a hybrid show that's standup, music and audience participation.
'Broadway Bound' is near and dear to my heart, as it was one of my happiest times on Broadway.
If I could really move my career much more into predominantly directing, I would jump at that.
I guess the Reagan era is defined as the 'I want it all for me, and screw everybody else' era.
The necessity for 'professionals' in the entertainment industry is being constantly challenged.
I would work with any one of them again in a heartbeat because it was joyous and incredibly easy.
I was heavy as a kid. I mean, I kind of got it together for a while there in my 20s and early 30s.
Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.'
I find when somebody says to me, 'I'm going to motivate you,' more often than not, they're not going to get me.
There is no community service in Seinfeld. But rather than lauding that, I think it shows the insane banality of it.
There is no community service in 'Seinfeld.' But rather than lauding that, I think it shows the insane banality of it.
Most of the musical film work that I have done has been in this realm of what I think of as real family entertainment.
Television, in particular, doesn't look for talent; it looks for personas. You have a great persona? You can be a TV star.
Every poker player, like every fisherman, needs to have a story in a box, and most poker stories are completely uninteresting.
You need to find the size of performance that's appropriate to the material, appropriate to the shot, or appropriate to the scene.
Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.