Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I always feel like I'm forgetting things.
For the most part, people don't know who I am.
If you're a stand-up, you're more or less yourself.
Changing the world, one exclamation point at a time.
Ground the main character in stupidity. Hire a good cast and a good crew.
I didn't necessarily set out to think of a show to make fun of reality shows.
If you want to be a crazy person, go for it. But don't impose it on your kids.
If you're doing stand-up, there is no fourth wall; you're engaging an audience.
What one person might see as violent, someone else may see as beautiful. Maybe even art.
I don't mind not having recognition. If it happens, fine, but it doesn't bother me that it's not there.
There were plenty of times some writers would make some kind of stupid joke to each other and then it was on TV that night or that week.
I suppose we all have a lil' inner or outer a-hole inside of us, just waiting for the right opportunity to rear their own beautiful buttholes.
I'm sort of known in the comedy community as 'Smooth Sailing,' just 'cause everything always goes great. I've always had success at every turn.
I’m sort of known in the comedy community as “Smooth Sailing,” just ’cause everything always goes great. I’ve always had success at every turn.
It's always been about when I do theater, the audience is just a viewer, not taking part in what's onstage. Whereas if you're doing stand-up, it's inclusive.
For me, it feels like my ideas are more specific to random thoughts or single ideas I might have, as opposed to being influenced by a general perception of absurdity.
There's nothing wrong with fame, but to seek out the spotlight just to be on TV for the sake of being on TV, and to put your children on there, I think, is especially disgusting.
There's a big difference to me between the people who are famous and just accept the fact that it comes with the territory of what they do, and the people who actively seek it out, who intentionally put themselves in the position of being on camera and being famous.
I really just think it's disgusting when people - to actually say that you want to be famous, it's just gross. There's nothing wrong with fame, but to seek out the spotlight just to be on TV for the sake of being on TV, and to put your children on there, I think, is especially disgusting.
I'm sort of known in the comedy community as "Smooth Sailing," just 'cause everything always goes great. I've always had success at every turn. Everything has gone well for me. I've never had a project fail. Everywhere I go, it's "What's up, Smooth Sailing?! How are the seas today, buddy?" I'm like, "Calm as can be!"
"Smooth Sailing" and "Hall of Fame" are my top two nicknames. "Cool Guy." "Jolly Jon." "Fun Jon." There's a lot of derivatives of Jon. "Cool Jon." Some people took "Smooth Sailing" and "Fun Jon" and made "Smooth Jon." That's a good one. It's just starting to catch on with the general public. Just every now and then, "Hey! Smooth Jon!" Or "You're Smooth Jon, right?!" People aren't quite sure. I'm like, "Yeah." "Okay, cool, that's what I thought!"