Kate Madison Quotes

• Kate Madison

Lesson learned: If a guy tells you you're his second choice, don't make him your first.

• Kate Madison

Lesson learned: Don't ever put a guy up on a pedestal. It's too easy for him to tip over and fall off.

• Kate Madison

Most memoirs about alcoholism, promiscuity, and addiction are deep, sobering tales full of scars that will never heal and include alarming statistics and reflection about recovery.This is not one of those memoirs.

• Kate Madison

I had a friend who got pregnant at age 14 and wasn't quite sure who the father was. Her paternity test went a little something like this: “If it comes out black, its Darwin's and if it comes out white its Ray's.” This is how things were done in the trailer park.

• Kate Madison

It was V-day and I was stuck at home while the guy I was dating was at an Anti-Valentine's Day party. How wrong was that? It was one thing to be totally alone on V-day, but another to want to be with someone who would rather spend the evening protesting love instead of making it.

• Kate Madison

In an attempt to help me move on from my failed marriage, my mom set me up with Jesus Freak. In fact, the stoner hadn't even finished moving out when she told me not to worry, because she already had someone better lined up for me. I was just lonely and desperate enough to endure a four-month celibate long distance relationship with a guy who read 15 chapters of the Bible and prayed for two hours every day and expected me to follow suit. He wanted to give our hypothetical children Bible names and for us to move to Korea to become missionaries.