I'm an amazing mama's boy.

Read everything and be kind.

Technology adds nothing to art.

Everyday is an atheist holiday.

Tommy Smothers is a hero of mine.

We celebrities are desperate pigs.

Make deals with people, not paper.

World War II proves there's no God.

Luck is statistics taken personally.

I love nuts. I'm for nuts. I am nuts.

Thou shalt not take anything on faith

Freedom means the right to be stupid.

Fear is the politicians dance partner.

Every poker player is smarter than me.

I'm very happy being big and effeminate.

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.

Bob Barr is not crazy enough for my taste.

I'm totally clean and sober my whole life.

This I believe: I believe there is no God.

The fact is that violence gives you a rush.

Cars mean nothing to me. I'm not a car guy.

The Tea Party claims to want small government.

Magic is the Special Olympics of entertainment.

All David Blaine is is a good-looking magician.

Mentally ill people come from all belief systems.

It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more.

Counterintuitive action makes a fellow feel smart.

Penn & Teller don't know jack about global warming.

Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.

I think the media spends a lot of time fooling itself.

Asking someone else to do something immoral is immoral.

In my private life, I'm not around any drugs or alcohol.

Love and respect all people. Hate and destroy all faith.

In reality, many people let go of religion later in life.

I've never had a drink of alcohol or any drug in my life.

A two-party system is way too good for those two parties.

Better to be uneducated than educated by your government.

How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize?

Everybody prefers to see a nut - they're more fascinating.

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.

The medium is not the message - the message is the message.

Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.

The vast majority of people who have guns never hurt anybody.

Showbiz is just there to give people something to talk about.

Freedom means the freedom to be stupid, and that's what I want.

I'm not misunderstood. I am brash. I make my living being brash.

There is no reason for the government to limit political speech.

I came to magic absolutely hating magic on a very, very deep level.

God works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways

I don't believe the majority always knows what's best for everyone.

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