Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a failed pop star. I always sneak a song into everything I do.
I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.
Stephen Merchant looks like a Muppet. I mean, he looks like Beaker.
I think it's important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself.
Stupidity without malice isn't horrible; some people can't help it.
The great thing about being an artist is, we want our work to be seen.
I don't think humans are meant to be looked at when we're buying pants.
If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it.
Let's be honest here: Twitter, for me, is 90 per cent a marketing tool.
I've been lucky enough to be able to choose exactly where I want to live.
You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet.
Wearing cosmetics that were tested on animals makes you ugly on the inside
I don't see myself as part of an acting fraternity or a comedy fraternity.
Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away.
I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian.
Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.
When I was growing up, I didn't like cheese. I had to wean myself onto cheese.
Hollywood is responsible for some of the greatest and worst movies of all time!
I love 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' - great stories, acted well, made well.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you believe in god, you're wrong.
I think what makes us human is those choices - whether to tell the truth or not.
Comedy is easy for me, but with drama, I don't know... it's still the Holy Grail.
I'm not a person that's easily embarrassed, but I'm embarrassed for other people.
Never fear the truth. No bad can come of discussing a true subject. No bad at all.
I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about.
If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey.
I think the best advice I'd say to any actor when you do comedy is play it straight.
The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.
She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.'
My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don't get run over. Or stabbed.
The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth.
When I see a headline 'Guess who's going out with who?' I don't guess, and I don't click.
Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational
What makes 'Derek' a different kind of sitcom - if it is even a sitcom - is its sincerity.
When you get back into the editing suite in the cold light of day, the written stuff is better.
Blasphemy: a law to protect an all-powerful, supernatural deity from getting its feelings hurt.
Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
There are so many films now where you know the story is a supporting role to the visual effects.
It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.
That's the amazing thing about life. You can just rub it out, like a blackboard, and start again.
I never had a plan. I just sort of ambled along, doing exactly what I wanted every day of my life.
I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars.
No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That's the fun bit.
I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
I think comedies should be short. I don't want to be self-indulgent; I don't want a two-hour comedy.
I don't know what Trump has to do to lose his supporters. It's like a religion. He's a school bully.
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.