Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
All of my friends are oddities.
Do this or you’ll burn in hell.
Proper stupidity is fascinating.
Famous people are above the law.
I don't do anything for the money.
I've got the attention span of a child.
Thank you God for making me an atheist.
Believe it or not, I work out regularly.
Humor is to get us over terrible things.
Piracy doesn't kill music, boy bands do.
Where there's a will - there's a relative!
Body language is more powerful than words.
I lift weights. Then I put them down again.
Why buy a book when you can join a library.
Be happy. It really annoys negative people.
Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks
You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
Why buy a book when you can join a library?
I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes.
I think everyone has the ability to be loved.
When someone thanks God, I don't get offended.
I'd like to thank God for making me an atheist.
The simple fact is, offense is taken, not given.
My physique is down to 20 years of eating cheese.
I didn't like noisy cinemas when I wasn't famous.
If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?
You do your own thing and you see if you survive.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side!
You can laugh at anything. It depends on the joke.
Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better
The only reason I work out is so I can eat more cheese.
I think being nice is more important than being clever.
Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.
Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.
Whatever else is happening, things are better in the sun.
The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.
I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.
Same-sex marriage is not a gay privilege, it's equal rights.
Popularity and democracy aren't a judge, they're just stats.
I fought a bear once. But it started crying, so I let it off.
I find comedy easy, and I find drama exciting and tantalising.
Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals
I think Spielberg is a master. I think 'Jaws' invented a genre.
I love UFC, vigilante films, and any acts of merciless heroism.
Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission
It will be great to play a short, fat sweaty loser for a change.
Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.
A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.
I was David Bowie-thin up to about 28, and then I discovered food.
Your reputation is still the most important thing that you've got.