Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I need a coffee, I'm a cold coffee guy. That's how I do.
Honestly, you could beat me, torture me - just don't bore me.
In high school, I was voted 'Most Humorous' in my senior class.
You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan.
When I put on my Marine cover, I'm a Marine, and I act accordingly.
As a comedian, I'm always quoting 'Caddyshack' and 'Dumb and Dumber.'
Look, here's the deal: The Chiefs' fate and the Royals' fate, that's my fate.
I've written several pilots that haven't gone, so that's why you haven't seen any.
For the most part, I keep playing big knuckleheads who are like bulls in a china shop.
I have performed for the troops... in Iraq! They loved it! I loved it... It's all good!
I remember watching Eddie Murphy's stand-up act when I was little, and just being mesmerized.
I went through puberty late. I was a little, little, tiny kid. I was still growing in college.
I am one of those guys that's an optimist. I am always optimistic. I don't know how you can be any other way.
Guy's guys are of course welcome! But my audience runs the spectrum of humanity. There's something for everyone!
When I approach villains, unless it's a drama, I'm a comedian, so I approach most things from a comedic point of view.
I knew I wanted to try comedy and acting. Even if I failed, at least I would have tried. It's better than never having tried.
I love to play it. I think it's funny. It's always been funny to me. Somebody who's large and in charge but totally wrong-headed.
I don't mind it so much if I get type cast as an authority figure. I get to do comedy no matter what it is, so it doesn't bother me.
I'm an improviser. I came up doing improv at the U.C.B. Theater in New York for seven years. That's where I started, so improv is what I love.
We can't ask the men and women of this country to go do things for us and then, when they get home, forget about them. It's not part of the deal.
One of the favorite games I play, when I improv or take on a character, is what I like to call arrogant ignorance. That's the game I enjoy playing most.
When you go out there to do comedy, you feel like you're doing battle with the audience a lot of the time. You're either going to get 'em, or you're not.
It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then?
Honestly, I just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep working. At the end of the day, that's usually one of those things that's going to get you ahead.
Whenever I'm given a chance to support veterans' initiatives, I try to do that. Children and veterans - if they're involved, you can pretty much count me in.
The comedy seeds were planted before the Marine seeds. The thought of comedy never happening was scary. When you have a plan, you never know what will happen.
That's a good sign for a movie: When it becomes part of the lexicon and pop culture for an entire generation. I've been in many movies, luckily, that get quoted.
I'm a Kansas City kid, so I love my Royals and Chiefs. I went to the University of Kansas, so I love the Jayhawks. But I live in L.A., so I'm a fan of the Dodgers.
I think audiences can relate to the guys I'm playing, those large-and-in-charge idiots. Or maybe I just make them feel better about who they are, or who they're dating.
I never got into the horror genre, and action was fine, but I just loved comedy. Any comedy I could get my hands on, I would. I watched 'Saturday Night Live' religiously.
What's my favorite food besides pancakes? I guess it would be flapjacks, followed closely by hotcakes. After that, crepes... but thick crepes. Y'know, like, pancake-thick.
You never want to just be outrageous for outrageous' sake 'cause then it doesn't work, and it's not believable. You want to be as true to whatever character you're playing.
There's no better citizen than a veteran. There's so much waiting for you outside, and it's not something to be intimidated by or scared by; it is something to be embraced.
I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and I wasn't the biggest, so I got real good at running my mouth and making people laugh and using humor as a way to not get into fights.
Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Will Ferrell, those guys mean so much to me because I watched those guys and how they transform and watch the commitment to what they do. I admire them.
I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but if you're not constantly craving breakfast every second of every day, you're not a real American. Y'know what, let's throw the Canadians in there, too.
I like boysenberry. I have no idea what it is. And it sounds like poison - which is terrifying - but you can't hold a name against a flavor. If you did that, everyone would hate Crunchberries.
I have a fondness for Georgetown. There's always some place in Georgetown that has a bunch of people that look like they're having fun, watching the game. Go in there, grab a pint. It's the best.
In college, I was a theater and film major at Kansas University. I always had an affinity for comedy. I could probably quote everything from 'Caddyshack,' 'Stripes,' and all those great comedies from the '80s.
I took classes and performed and did improv and sketch and wrote sketches and did lights and sound for other people's shows just so I could be around the theater. That was about seven nights a week for seven years.
When the folks at Holiday Inn Express handed me a pancake with my very own face on it, I knew I had finally made it. Then, I grabbed a knife and fork, and tucked into my face. And I'm happy to report: I'm delicious.
I would love to do something dramatic. I don't know if anybody will ever give me the chance, but I would love to try it. I'm trained in acting and spent many years working on it, so it's just a matter of opportunity.
My advice is for veterans to seek out mentors, people who are doing what you want to do. You have to decide what you want and have a goal. Don't worry about how you're going to do it. Just trust that you'll get there.
Changing the conversation about how Americans perceive veterans is really important. These are hardworking, dedicated, innovative people who deserve quality employment when they return home from their military service.
I've always been cast in authority roles; I think because I have that presence... Comedically, I can play against that pretty well. I enjoy playing that arrogant ignorance. That's one of my favorite games to play in comedy.
I lived in New York for 10 years; I followed the Rangers. Now I live in L.A. I want to adopt a team. I'm always going to be a Kansas City Chiefs and Royals fan. I want to adopt a team in a new town, so I've adopted the Kings.
I always try to stick to the script because I want to respect the writers, and I want to respect the director. But if the director and my fellow actors are okay with me playing with it a little bit, then I definitely want to play with it.
I do write, I enjoy it. But I like acting. I wanna be in front of the camera as much as I can as long as I can, so I'm still pursuing that. There's just a lot going on. I write standup, so it's just a matter of time. I just need more time!
I can't quote stats from another decade. I've got friends that can do that. But I am a huge sports fan. In fact, I enjoy all sports, and when I enjoy a game for five minutes, I'm in it for the whole thing. Plus, I do have some teams I loyally follow.
When you're leading Marines, you don't screw around, so the comedy is limited in uniform. And when you're a comedian, you can't be heavy handed and come across with tales of gore or material that people won't understand, so I try to keep them separate.