Home is pretty utopian.

I get mail; therefore I am.

I try to avoid giving advice.

My investments have been hurt.

I'm primarily just an investor.

Technology: No Place for Wimps!

E-books are impervious to analogy.

The best things in life are silly.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

People vote based on emotion. Period.

Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo

The only risk of failure is promotion.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

When did ignorance become a point of view?

The longer you work here, diverse it gets.

To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.

I should have written that down. - Dilbert

Failure is a resource that can be managed.

The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.

A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.

Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons

Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.

Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.

Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success.

There's a fine line between participation and mockery.

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.

You can change only what people know, not what they do.

Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.

If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.

The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.

I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.

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