Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
That was liquid football
I want my work to be judged, not me.
I like the transience of Klimt paintings.
I enjoy comedy but it can become wearisome.
It's arguably the best newspaper in the world.
I'm getting older , so I'm quieting down a bit.
I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.
I find impressionists slightly annoying, really.
I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog... Would hump ya.
If you chase something too desperately, it eludes you.
The truth is somewhere in the middle of funny and serious.
I am lucky to be in a profession that is not age dependent.
I think it's always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare.
I don't go to premieres, unless I'm contractually bound to.
I wasn't a naturally confident, extravert, outgoing person.
It is not true that sex degrades women... if it is any good.
I don't think there's anything outside what comedy can address.
Look at the 18th century. There was a lot more freedom going on.
In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve.
You really have got lots of issues! Yeah, of 'What Car Magazine'!
I have never wanted to be famous, as such - fame is a by-product.
If you do something very successful, you will then be defined by it.
The important thing is not to be defined by what others think of you.
I woke with a start. At first I assumed I'd trumped myself awake again.
What I don't like is dance music or hip hop or any of that sort of thing.
If things don't come easy to you, you have to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
I like to do movies that provoke rather than reinforce conservative values.
A woman wearing a revealing dress will always be sexier than a naked woman.
I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net!
The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy.
I'm just a good Catholic boy - I do naughty things and feel guilty about them.
As soon as I see period costume, I turn off. It's like hearing drama on Radio 4.
Comedy is unique in the sense that laughter is a palpable noise that everyone makes.
When I see friends from school I think they've all grown old and I've stayed the same.
Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell.
I'm really encouraged by Pope Francis, because I think his attitude is totally laudable.
But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.
I don't want to go around making everyone else agree with me. I don't feel the need to do that.
The tabloids operate in an amoral parallel universe where the bottom line is selling newspapers.
I've always been drawn to discomfort and that limbo of unease you get between comedy and tragedy.
Convoy? Michael, you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle.
I think if you try to look for something to show off as an actor, vanity can get the better of you.
I happen to have a public profile. Ditto newspaper editors. It's a result of what I do, not an end.
Even great people are always slightly disappointing, which is generally what makes them interesting.
I think there's as much profundity and wisdom in Shakespeare, more so in fact, than those in the Bible.
I'm not elitist. I like to do crowd-pleasing stuff which is a bit smart, but is just about belly laughs.
All those people who go around saying Life begins at forty, they're notable by their absence. The nerve.
Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these.
What terrifies me is that I might somehow endorse that view so people think they don't have to read books anymore.
I'm an entertainer. I don't go round saying I'm a paragon of virtue, so that is clearly not in the public interest.