Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I believe in process. I believe that having a really difficult process is more valuable than a good outcome.
I really wasn't heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school.
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters - from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian.
I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.
Boyhood proves that there's still good roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you're under 40.
In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history's worst decisions [...].
When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?
You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.
Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
Sometimes when you're doing a comedy, the director will yell out "alts" and then the director gets the first laugh.
In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.
I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!
When you have a set of characters, you have to fall in love with them and care about them as each individual character.
I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.
Sometimes people expect that I'm going to be tough. It's not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.
I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.
You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It only makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.
I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.
I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.
I'm more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I'm mostly an improviser, though I haven't improvised in awhile.
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.
North Korea threatened to attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend that we wanted to see it.
You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body's totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.
Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.
Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
"30 Rock" is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again.
Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy.
A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.
30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.
At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.
Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool.
We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone.
When I was going to school in, like, '84 to '88, you didn't have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that.
My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.
When you go into something where you can really trust that everyone has thought about it, more than you have even, then that's like a gift.
I really like John McCain. He's an awesome dude and was a lot of fun when he hosted "SNL." I'd love to see a McCain-Giuliani "rage" ticket.