Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.
The only real diplomacy ever performed by a diplomat is in deceiving their own people after their dumbness has got them into a war.
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
I have always claimed Americans didn't want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one.
There is something about riding down the street on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you ain't a thing.
A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.
And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one.
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes-I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel.
If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.
No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.
The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If it's not going to go up, don't buy it!
You could be the World's greatest orator and if you don't say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while.
If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.
If all the time consumed in attending dinners and luncheons was consumed in some work, the production of this country would be doubled
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers; when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names.
You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?
You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible; and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.
Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out
These dust storms.... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him.
The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'
There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book.
I haven't seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better.
Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.
They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car, and if they are caught it's a miracle.
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
They are voting whether to keep a governor two years or four. I think a good, honest governor should get four years, and the others life.
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.
In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important.
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for.
I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.
Wine had such ill effects on Noah's health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
Don't raise anything, except what fits your appetite. Then the price don't worry you. Just raise all you can eat and let the low prices go by.
This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one.
There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.
I was born on Nov. 4, which is election day ... my birthday has made more men and sent more back to honest work than any other days in the year.
We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?
We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get morefor not working than you will for working, and morefor not raising a hog than for raising it.
Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along!
An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.