Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back
Some say, what is the Salvation of the Movies? I say, run 'em backwards. It can't hurt 'em and it's worth a trial.
One thing I will say about the Germans, they are always perfectly willing to give somebody's land to somebody else
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
A successful outcome shows what hard work, perseverance and taking advantage of your opportunities will do for you.
Those tax-exempt bonds were put in so that a town or a state or a government could sell more bonds than it ought to.
We may elevate ourselves but we should never reach so high that we would every forget those who helped us get there.
The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid.
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
There's a simple solution to our traffic problems. We'll have business build the roads, and government build the cars.
That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for -- to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury.
Don't wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.
You can take any line of business and skill and the ones who do it the best are the ones who get the most money for it.
That's the trouble with our charities; we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain't eating.
You politicians have got to look further ahead; you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why... we would be O.K.
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't.
Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.
I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.
What's the matter with the world? Why, there ain't nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that's selfishness.
The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Say, did you read what this writer just dug up in George Washington's diary? I was so ashamed I sat up all night reading it.
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones?
A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does.
It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington.
Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.
The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.
When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise them. That's statesmanship of the highest order.
It's getting so if a man wants to stand well socially, he can't afford to be seen with either the Democrats or the Republicans.
The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out.
The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity.
The trip across Arizona is just one oasis after another. You can just throw anything out and it will grow there, I like Arizona.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.
Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kill you, it will put you out of work.
Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?
There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.