Funny Picture Quotes - Page 3

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, ...
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same ...
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who ...
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and ...
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second ...
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on ...
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a ...
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he ...
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be ...
Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it ...
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty ...
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to ...
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are ...
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't ...
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the ...
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the ...
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the ...
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will ...
When people ask me what 'American Pie' means, I tell them it means I ...
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation ...
The dog is a yes-animal. Very popular with people who can't afford a ...
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force ...
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look ...
It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to ...
A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my ...
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than ...
When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all ...
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and ...
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
I don't pretend to understand the Universe - it's a great deal bigger ...
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in ...
Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.
Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am ...
Everyone smiles in the same language.
Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your ...
If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. ...
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your ...
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women ...
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a ...
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Great little One! whose all-embracing birth Lifts Earth to Heaven, ...
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
I am dying with the help of too many physicians.

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