“ Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. George Carlin Comedian
“ It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. Dave Barry Author
“ In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. Mark Twain Author
“ Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money. Satchel Paige Baseball Player
“ Your wrinkles either show that you're nasty, cranky, and senile, or that you're always smiling. Carlos Santana Musician