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Having a belief in God, being able to find joy, despite your circumstances or put yourself outside of yourself, and stop looking inwards and look outwards a little bit really helps to carry through tough times. Giving makes you feel better.

Contrary to the fantasies of the fundamentalists, there was no deathbed conversion, no last minute refuge taken in a comforting vision of a heaven or an afterlife. For Carl, what mattered most was what was true, not merely what would make us feel better. Even at this moment when anyone would be forgiven for turning away from the reality of our situation, Carl was unflinching. As we looked deeply into each other's eyes, it was with a shared conviction that our wondrous life together was ending forever.

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