I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.

Dear Valentine, I have thought of you often. Not all the time, but often.

That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.

Aunt Marion was right... Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.

Years are like candy bars... We're paying more, but they're getting shorter.

Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes. We now have very secure dishes!

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe just so you're sincere.

Schroeder, do you think love is the answer to everything?" "Boy, I hope not!

Sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!

The only thing I ever wanted to be was a cartoonist. That's my Life. DRAWING.

Humor is proof that everything is going to be all right with God nevertheless.

The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.

For one brief moment victory was within our grasp!" "And then the game started!

Beethoven can't really be great because his picture isn't on a bubble gum card.

All you require is adore. But just a little chocolate at times will not damage.

If you grit your teeth and show real determination, you'll always have a chance.

Snoopy didn't start off being a Beagle. It's just that 'beagle' is a funny word.

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Have you ever known anyone who was happy? And was still in his right mind, I mean.

I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.

People shouldn't be embarrassed just because they get caught acting a little silly.

I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I let them try to understand me!

There's no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don't really have anything to say.

Aren't the clouds beautiful? I could just lie here all day, and watch them drift by.

I guess babysitters are like used cars... You never really know what you're getting.

When you die, are you ever allowed to come back?" "Only if you had your hand stamped.

Dearest darling, how I love you. Words cannot tell how much I love you. So forget it.

You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!

I was jumping rope. Everything was fine. And then suddenly everything seemed so futile.

Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Why is it that you don't love me?" "Sometimes I wish I knew..." "Don't anybody tell him!!

It is difficult to talk about what I do, because I do it so I don't have to talk about it.

Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.

All of earth's creatures have, hidden within their beings, a wild uncontrollable urge to punt!

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

A cartoonist is someone who has to draw the same thing day after day without repeating himself.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

I think I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy something bad always happens.

It's a mistake to try to avoid the unpleasant things in life... But I'm beginning to consider it.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

Bob Dylan will be thirty years old this month..." "That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

Lucy: You learn more when you lose Charlie Brown: Well then I must be the smartest person in world!!!

Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.

I have deep feelings of depression... What can I do about this?' 'Snap out of it! Five cents, please.

Wouldn't it be nice if our lives were like VCRs , and we could 'fast forward' through the crummy times?

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