Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I encourage interoffice romance.
We women have to stick together.
The important thing is to be drunk.
MTV is known for their huge budget.
Who would marry me anyway? I'm a handful.
I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
My father has a high opinion of his opinion
Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
I think pregnancy is a huge responsibility.
My life and my legs have been an open book.
My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.
I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.
No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.
People push my buttons, so I'm going to react.
Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
I want to start saying bad words all the time!
... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.
First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.
I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.
Mexico's a great place to overcome a drug addiction.
If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.
A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.
I try not to cheat on my boyfriends when I have them.
I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.
If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
Network TV is so limiting. There are so many parameters.
You can't have friendships that aren't based on realness.
I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.
There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.
I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.
I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.
They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.
I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.
Jews are underdogs - not in my world, obviously, they're not.
That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.
Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.
Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.
But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.