Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
When I get hold of a book I particularly admire, I am so enthusiastic that I loan it to someone who never brings it back.
A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down, but they can never tell how much.
I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
We must be truthful and fair in the ordinary affairs of life before we can be truthful and fair in patriotism and religion.
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.
Nothing pleases a woman quite so well as to look so sweet that a man wants to kiss her, and then abuse him for his impudence.
Somehow, everyone hates to see an unusually pretty girl get married. It is like taking a bite out of a very fine-looking peach.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.
If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.
A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.
If your faith is opposed to experience, to human learning and investigation, it is not worth the breath used in giving it expression.
I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.
When I am idle and shiftless, my affairs become confused; when I work, I get results ... not great results, but enough to encourage me.
It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.
Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.
It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it.
How good we all are, in theory, to the old; and how in fact we wish them to wander off like old dogs, die without bothering us, and bury themselves.
One trouble with growing old is that it gets progressively tougher to find a famous historical figure, who didn't amount to much when he was your age.
When a man tells you what people are saying about you, tell him what people are saying about him; that will immediately take his mind off your troubles.
Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. Principle is not as powerful in keeping people straight as a policeman.
If a man has money, it is usually a sign, too, that he knows how to take care of it; don't imagine his money is easy to get simply because he has plenty of it.
The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.
Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.
We are not free, it was not intended we should be. A book of rules is placed in our cradle, and we never get rid of it until we reach our graves. Then we are free, and only then.
I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.
In thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.
I declare my belief that it is not your duty to do anything that is not to your own interest. Whenever it is unquestionably your duty to do a thing, then it will benefit you to perform that duty.
A religion that never suffices to govern a man will never suffice to save him; that which does not sufficiently distinguish one from a wicked world will never distinguish him from a perishing world.
The most agreeable thing in life is worthy accomplishment. It is not possible that the idle tramp is as contented as the farmers along the road who own their own farms, and whose credit is good at the bank in town. When the tramps get together at night, they abuse the farmers, but do not get as much satisfaction out of it as do the farmers who abuse the tramps. The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.