Quotes by John M. Gottman - Page 1

Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.
John M. Gottman / Professor
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You don't have to be interesting. You have to be interested.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Interesting
Ironic
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Bid for connection: Each of our daily interactions with another person.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Connections
Interaction
Persons
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Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships
John M. Gottman / Professor
Gay
Marriage Equality
Principles
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In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Giving Up
Needs
Order
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I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Love
Respect
Trust
Believe
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I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the same again.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Glue
Together
Vases
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Criticism
Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse
Worst
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We move in response to our conversation partner’s face, and our brain also fires as we move those muscles and stirs the passions. Paralyzing the face is idiotic.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Fire
Moving
Passion
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In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Marriage
Good Relationship
People
Soccer
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Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Being Positive
Couple
Divorce
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Thus, the critical dimension in understanding whether a marriage will work or not, becomes the extent to which the male can accept the influence of the woman he loves and become socialized in emotional communication.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Communication
Emotional
Understanding
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When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. The end of that marriage could have been predicted long before either spouse strayed.
John M. Gottman / Professor
Couple
Dying
Long
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John M. Gottman Quotes - Page 1

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