Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
She sleeps alone at last.
Work is a form of nervousness.
Streets flooded. Please advise.
Streets full of water. Please Advise.
The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
If only those old walls could talk...how boring they would be.
I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.
Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
I haven't been abroad in so long that I almost speak English without an accent now.
All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books
Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800.
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.