Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.