Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I get along so much better with fundamentalist Christians than I do with wishy-washy liberals, who want everyone to get along.
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
If something's stressful I've always tended to just find ways of avoiding it rather than rising to meet it or try to change it.
As I’m fond of saying, if you want to find utopia, take a sharp right on money and a sharp left on sex and it’s straight ahead.
I like things matching. I have an upright bass, a drum kit and a grand piano that's the same color. I tend to overthink things.
Exploration of space is worth it because humans need to explore. Knowledge is always good, and it's a really cool thing to see.
Religion is often just tribalism: pride in a group one was born into, a group that is often believed to have 'God' on its side.
Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid.
It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.'
I read a lot of books to my children, and they all seem really good. I think people have gotten really good at children's books.
That was how I started, as a hypnotist. But I didn't like the kind of gigs I was being offered. I didn't want to embarrass people.
The reason I'm an I.B.M.-type guy today is that I really needed a laptop back in 1986, and I just couldn't wait for the Powerbook.
If you've gotten yourself into a situation when Clay Aiken is going to talk about his feelings with you, it's time to kill yourself.
Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people
I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.
I love the feeling of shredded wheat. I love healthy bird food with a fun-to-eat feel. Then you spray them with sugar, and I'm there.
To drive a car in rural America is freedom. Before I had a car, I'd never seen a rock and roll show, I'd never seen a comic or a show.
You don’t have to be brave or a saint, a martyr, or even very smart to be an atheist. All you have to be able to say is “I don’t know”.
One of the strongest feelings you can get in life--one of the most rewarding feelings--is the feeling of an "Aha, I finally understand."
I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.
Even if I disagree with Obama on many, many things, he is certainly qualified to be president. He is certainly competent to be president.
I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage is any of the government's business.
The single most valuable human trait, the one quality every schoolchild and adult should be taught to nurture, is, quite simply, kindness.
Most people's fear of being in front of an audience can generally be conquered by being completely on top of what it is they've got to do.
The definition of a stupid thing is something that if you do everything right, you still get hurt. Fire-eating and love are stupid things.
People like Bill Maher, who brags about being a cynic, it sickens me. I am the least cynical person I know, and I am very, very skeptical.
When you're with your partner, I think, does everyone else sing and do the stupid voices and all that stuff that I do and always have done?
Our fascination with weather: its caprices and changes as an antidote to the eternal repetition of daily life; a helpful illusion of novelty
I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the rules.
What I do is rooted in magic - it's got a big foot planted firmly in conjuring, even if the other foot's planted in psychological techniques.
One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality.
The characters and events depicted in the damn bible are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.
It used to frustrate me when I'd get celebrities on my shows and I had to meet them as this ludicrous magician character rather than as myself.
The joy of doing the TV or something like 'Sacrifice' isn't really the process of doing it; the joy is going through this real-life experience.
We forget our health and comfort and notice a pinching shoe. Much of living well is detaching from our boring stories of pain and shifting focus
Things I've done in the past always make me cringe a bit. When I think back to being a Christian. Proselytising to people, that makes me cringe.
A famous monk once said, I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.
We have to fight for the freedom to be stupid, and smoking is one of the best ways to fight for your freedom, to be just as stupid as you can be.
There are performers who have built their whole career doing magic on TV and can't really perform live at all - don't really have jobs and skills.
Everything you do is about creating an experience in the viewer's head. If you're rude or irritating as a performer, then your magic is irritating.
I love touring, more than anything. Doing the stage show is a more enjoyable process than TV. There are no safeguards but the payoff is the wow factor.
I wasn't terribly sociable. I had two or three friends at school. I drew things, played with Lego. My parents left me free to do whatever made me happy.
Yes, I've had a slight feeling of wanting to reclaim some of the lifestyle I had in my 20s, which means poncing around in what amounts to pirate clothes.
Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the art and entertainment that's available.
Magic is a performance, and a performance should have an honesty, a relevance and a resonance if it is to be offered to spectators without insulting them.
I was part of a very uncool group. It was a group that liked classical music. They were known as the Music School Gang or, less charitably, the Poof Gang.
I don't want anyone as president who promises to take care of me. I may be stupid, but I want a chance to try to be a grown-up and take care of my family.
My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every car. I was never a hippie. It takes more than long hair.
Two things have always been true about human beings. One, the world is always getting better. Two, the people living at that time think it's getting worse.