“ It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.' Tina Fey Actress
“ I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit. Dylan Moran Comedian
“ Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. Agnes Repplier Essayist
“ NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient. Ambrose Bierce Journalist
“ Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment. Robert Benchley Humorist
“ I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. "Yeah, but you can store this thing." You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom. Mitch Hedberg Comedian