I write like a two-year-old, and I can't spell.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

The female attention I have to struggle hardest with is from my two-year-old daughter.

My heart goes out to the grieving parents who lost their two-year-old or their newborn.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

Having a two-year-old son is challenging, and my missus is only 21, so we're both young, and it is difficult.

If you've ever hauled a 28-pound two-year-old around New York, you'll find that men fold at the knees a lot quicker than women.

Sometimes, you'll watch the news and you'll see two-year-old boys in South Africa, wearing 'Spider-Man' t-shirts. It's such a global phenomenon.

Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it.

Going from a two-year-old Polish boy, who practically came to Germany with nothing more than a football under his arm, to a world champion - it's more than I could have ever imagined.

I'm a grandfather now, and when I watch children's shows with my two-year-old grandson, Arlo, I'm delighted because it's completely non-traditional casting. It feels like a utopia. How the world should be.

I have a two-year-old at home, and my whole life is - besides revolved around keeping this little person alive, just watching them on the stairs and eating food and everything of every minute of every day - you plan what time you're going to bed so that you can be your best self first thing in the morning.

As long as you think of your real self as the person you are, then of course you're going to be fearful of death. But what is a person? A person is a pattern of behavior, of a larger awareness. You know, the two-year-old dies before the three-year-old shows up, the three-year-old dies before the teenager shows up.

A lot of people say, 'Wow, you're a single father of twin boys, that's crazy!' Two toddlers can get hectic, but I wouldn't change it for anything. Every day they teach me different things. The love is there. When you have a two-year-old saying every other hour, 'Papi, te amo. Papi, I love you,' it can't get better.

Share This Page