Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

In America-as elsewhere-free speech is confined to the dead.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

If you must be indiscrete, be discrete in your indiscretion.

Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.

Out of the public schools comes the greatness of the nation.

We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.

America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

Preachers are always pleasant company when they are off duty.

Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor

We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise

We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.

Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.

You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda.

Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.

In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Kindness is a language herd by deaf men and felt by blind men.

Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.

Against a diseased imagination demonstration goes for nothing.

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.

Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

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