If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.

The new political gospel: public office is private graft.

If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.

Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education

If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.

Children have but little charity for one another's defects

If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.

But we are all insane, anyway. Note the mountain-climbers.

Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.

History never repeats itself; at best it sometimes rhymes.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.

A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.

We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

...ignorant as the unborne babe! ignorant as unborn twins!

If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.

It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.

You need not expect to get your book right the first time.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.

To say a compliment well is a high art and few possess it.

Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

And what is a man without energy? Nothing - nothing at all.

Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.

He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.

I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.

Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild

the rumors of the White Sox demise are greatly exaggerated.

We must look for our own blame to find our own personality.

Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.

Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

I'm merely running some errands. This is now off the record.

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

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