Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.
Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.
I do not like work even when someone else is doing it.
There is nothing more frustrating than a good example.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.
An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.
Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
How lovely is death; and how niggardly it is doled out.
Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
To someone with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
Some of the worst things in my life never even happened.
Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts.
Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.
We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.
the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
a fully belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
A gentleman is a man who can play the banjo, but doesn't.
Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.