Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.
MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.
resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.
A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
New York is too strenuous for me; it gets on my nerves.
Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.
Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.
Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.