Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.
MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.
PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'
Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.