Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am no fan of books.
I'm impervious to logic.
I'm getting angry at liberals.
Baby carrots are making me gay.
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
I can't prove it, but I can say it.
Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
Equations are the devil's sentences.
You have a firm grasp of the obvious.
I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.
Reality has a well-known liberal bias.
The more you know, the sadder you get.
I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian.
President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
There's a buzz to failing and not dying.
Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.
Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area.
As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
Speak from the balls, not from the diaphram.
Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.
Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.
I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?
I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
I love the truth. It's the facts I'm not a fan of.
Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.
Arby's: If I was about to be killed, I would eat it.
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.
(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.
I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.
Warning, I may contain more than a trace amount of nut.
Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.
Opinions are like demo tapes. I don't want to hear yours
Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
Gravitas is the soup bone in the stew of television news.
Who really wants to be themselves when they're teenagers?
Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.