Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Everything comes to him who waits -- if he waits till it comes.
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.
In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.
Life is a battle of wits, and many people have to fight it unarmed.
Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
Women diet to retain their girlish figures or their boyish husbands.
To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.
Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.
This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry -- and the world laughs harder.
Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.
Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.
An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce.
Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.
Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.
Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.
Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.
There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.
The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.
Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.
Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
The trouble with the world is that laziness is seldom curable and never fatal.
The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
The only thing more certain than the hatred of enemies is the envy of friends.