Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The man in liberalism is usually going to be at fault.
You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.
I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page.
I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.
Life seemed so simple and joyous when I was growing up.
Hillary's [Clinton] got some problems with Millennials.
The Republican Party does not want to defeat Democrats.
What determines your altitude in life is your attitude.
A good butcher is important to have. It's like a shrink.
I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.
I haven't reached nirvana yet, but I've been to Detroit.
Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.
I don't think Lloyd's of London would insure this mouth.
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome.
Even when I think I'm wrong I'm right. I am all-knowing.
Folks, just a few minutes of my voice can change a life.
You can be prosecuted if you tell the truth about Islam.
It's a strategic thing to be in permanent campaign mode.
Ronald Reagan set the stage for the end of the Cold War.
Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer.
The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.
Trust takes one second to lose and a lifetime to rebuild.
They're 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?
Love is the only human emotion that cannot be controlled.
I never try to get noticed. It just happens. I never try.
I've given up on being accurately portrayed in the media.
That cracker made a lot of African-American millionaires.
It's abundantly clear the Democrats want to eliminate us.
I'm looking at CNN and I don't trust any of these people.
People do not relate to nor do they like Hillary Clinton.
Domald Trump has whatever it is that works on television.
Competition's always been a product of American lifestyle
Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things.
I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.
Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.
People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."
It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.
I sang with Anita Bryant in the Southern Baptist churches.
They don't call me spontaneous and irreverant for nothing.
The payoffs in showbiz seemed as random as a slot machine.
I want people to realize their life's dreams and passions.
Blaming guns for murder is like blaming forks for obesity.
People who stand in the "middle-of-the-road" get run over.
Barack Obama, foreign policy wizard. I just have to laugh.
When you've got Roger Ailes on your side, you do not lose.
There's nothing in the 14th Amendment about anchor babies.
I grew. Going outside my comfort zone is a big one for me.
Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.