“ One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read" Steven Wright Comedian
“ The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. Kin Hubbard Cartoonist
“ Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard Writer
“ One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. Louis C. K. Comedian
“ It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky. Mitch Hedberg Comedian
“ We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. T. S. Eliot Playwright
“ Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things. Adam Sandler Actor