Quotes by Chris Cubas - Page 1

There's a difference between hiring writers and stealing jokes.
Chris Cubas /
Hiring
Stealing
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If you have any sense, if you're any good at comedy, you come to Austin.
Chris Cubas /
Austin
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I wanna be funny, but if I have a chance to make a point while being funny - why not?
Chris Cubas /
Being Funny
Why Not
Wanna
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Put me on the Food Network - I'll be the funniest guy talking about food. I don't care.
Chris Cubas /
Don't Care
Food Network
Funniest
Network
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Twitter is basically just writing a bunch of one-liners - it's a short form or whatever.
Chris Cubas /
One-Liners
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I hated 'Avatar' from the jump. And I like James Cameron. I'm not opposed to James Cameron.
Chris Cubas /
Cameron
Avatar
James
Jump
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The whole point of comedy, what's fun, is taking the stupid thought I had and working it into something that makes a bunch of people laugh.
Chris Cubas /
Bunch
Comedy
Stupid
Fun People Laugh
Laugh
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I don't know a single person that's like, ''Avatar' is my favorite movie.' It never even comes up. I don't know anyone that will defend that movie.
Chris Cubas /
Single Person
Will Never Know
Will Never Person
Avatar
Defend
Will Person Never
Favorite Movie
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It's weird writing for a documentary because I have all these ideas for what I want to happen, but what actually happens is obviously completely different.
Chris Cubas /
Documentary
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Everybody wants to be Doug Stanhope; everybody wants to be Bill Hicks - and those are great people to aim for, but they had the fundamentals down. They knew how to be funny.
Chris Cubas /
Aim
Fundamentals
Great People
Funny Great People
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When 'Titanic' came out on VHS, I was working at a Sam's Club, which is already the worst. I don't know what you know about working for the Walton family, but it's horrific.
Chris Cubas /
Horrific
Worst
Club
Sam
Titanic
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The holy grail for me is just stand-up - It's always been that. If I can just tour and headline in stand-up, that's the dream. But I'll do anything that looks like fun, y'know?
Chris Cubas /
Holy
Holy Grail
Me Fun Always
Grail
Headline
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The goal is doing stand-up on TV somewhere, which is what I'm working on. Something on latenight or Comedy Central, but - I dunno, something. It could happen, it could not happen.
Chris Cubas /
Comedy Central
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I felt like I couldn't meet a single rich person. Regardless of where I live, they don't want to talk to me. I threw a barbecue and invited the whole neighborhood, and nobody showed up.
Chris Cubas /
Barbecue
Invited
Neighborhood
Rich
Rich Person
Regardless
Threw
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I definitely have friends who gave me a tag for a joke I already had. Like, 'Here's another line.' A tag is, 'Oooooh, it's an industry term.' It's like, there's the punchline, and a tag is like a secondary punchline.
Chris Cubas /
Industry
Tag
Term
Definitely
Gave
Line
Secondary
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I was living in upstate New York, in Kingston - small town, no comedy scene except for my friends and I doing these DIY shows and whatnot. And we put together this thing called the 'Altercation Punk Rock Comedy Tour.'
Chris Cubas /
Punk Rock
Small Town
Upstate New York
Upstate
Whatnot
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If you like looking at 'Starry Night' or water lilies or whatever, then why does it matter if it's an original? If the artist is still alive, and you want to support them, I get it. But if you want some famous dead guy's work, that's just a way for rich people to show off. It's the upper-class version of driving a giant Hummer.
Chris Cubas /
Lilies
Rich People
Upper Class
Version
Giant
Show Off
Starry
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Chris Cubas Quotes - Page 1

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