When you catch an adjective, kill it.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

Definite speech means clarity of mind.

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

I am only human, although I regret it.

The funniest things are the forbidden.

Man proposes, but God blocks the game.

Honor is a harder master than the law.

School gets in the way of my learning.

I was born modest, but it didn't last.

A better idea than my own is to listen.

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.

Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.

Never do wrong when people are looking.

Books are the liberated spirits of men.

If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

Distance lends enchantment to the view.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.

Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.

The heart is the real fountain of youth.

A journalist is a reporter out of a job.

I am not an American. I am the American.

There is no accounting for human beings.

A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

Bridgeport?" Said I. "Camelot," Said he.

All emotion is involuntary when genuine.

Don't wait the time is never just right.

I like criticism, but it must be my way.

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.

God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

We are all beggars, each in his own way.

It is wiser to find out than to suppose.

In literature imitations do not imitate.

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

Architects cannot teach nature anything.

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

Whatever you say, say it with conviction

The ancients stole all our ideas from us.

Talent without work is useless, thank God

It is a shameful thing to insult a child.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

History doesn't repeat itself; it rhymes.

All human rules are more or less idiotic.

The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print

I deal with temptation by yielding to it.

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