Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I get to go to work and FaceTime my friends and family and go, "Hey, I'm just showing you around my spaceship!" It's great to be able to do that. I'm having a ball!
It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out a way to do it on stage.
I don't want this to come off bad at all, but I really don't watch Disney shows. I don't. I like the animated ones, but I just don't have time to watch a lot of TV.
As an actor, you can steer a scene in another direction by playing it a little differently. And honestly? I like being an actor, and I want to keep having a career.
You get thought of in terms of your last job. So if my last job is that of a meat cleaver-wielding character, I will hardly be cast as some benign, older gentleman.
Family is family over the internet, over Skype, over the telephone. Love is love. You don't have to actually go through some ritual to prove that you love somebody.
I'm hoping to see some minorities in executive offices in positions of power, people who see the merit of projects with minority themes. That may or may not happen.
I'm not a fan of the Eagles, but I've watched their documentary numerous times and everyone who's watched it with me has sung along to the songs, much to my dismay.
I kind of romanticized what it was like to be a writer and director when I was in my early twenties. Working as a production assistant knocked that right out of me.
I think we're all sort of imprisoned by - or at least bound to - the choices we make... You want to say no at the right time and you want to say yes more sparingly.
I've always slightly worried the kids who play football around my house. They know I'm an actor, but felt sorry for me because they'd never seen anything I've done.
I do the best I can when I'm accepting the role to say, 'This is about as much as I can do, and if that's not suitable for you, then you should hire somebody else.'
Our professor was Marty Scorsese. Marty was a graduate student, or Mr. Scorsese, which is what I had to call him, and still do when I see him 'cause he gave me a C.
Every day is a surprise. There are confirmations of an interconnectivity and synchronicity which inspire, titillate and confirm the inherent comedy of the universe.
I have a 92 year old father whose doing beautifully who lives in Chicago and a sister and a nephew and a niece and I love coming back and try to do so fairly often.
I'm fully aware of people's perception of me, so when I start taking myself too seriously, I have to remember that, to them, I'm just the guy from 'Police Academy.'
The last guy tried to get out of me writing him a ticket by saying, 'Kiss me, big boy, kiss me like there's no tomorrow!'...as I recall, I didn't write that ticket.
Every young male actor dreams of being James Bond in an action movie. And that's their first role. But the truth is, when it comes down to it, that's not relatable.
I started hitching about the country when I was 16 or 17 years old. I found the music that was played around the country - Irish music - had a particular resonance.
I think that liberal straight white men really need to stop patting themselves on the back for what they think they think and actually take a look at their actions.
My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it's just straight, wholesome type of humor.
I'm pretty good with talking to girls if I have an introduction, but I'm the worst at trying to go pick up a girl. I'm really bad at breaking the ice. It's awkward!
As I get older, I find myself way more into sports. I'm in a basketball league. You maybe know some of the people in it. They're real people, not fake ones like me.
You're not free unless you can show the good and the bad, all sides of them. So to me, when I play a character, it's important that I can show every aspect of them.
I did not go to military school. I had an option either a military school or a private school. I don't know how to get that out of the information that's out there.
When you think about justifiable anger in one's personal life, we look at those scenarios in everyday life and through our story with a superhero, we heighten them.
I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs.
I had spent many years before I was 31 hearing people tell me, Oh Man, you're so funny, you need to be in television. But that and a quarter won't get you on a bus.
When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.
I wish I could walk into a room and feel superior and have my nose up at everybody, but I can't, because I know I'm just a huge nerd, and that wouldn't work for me.
I always think all the other comedians in New York hate me - I'm just convinced that they all dislike me - when, generally, I think I'm a pretty well-respected guy.
You have to be able to carry a conversation. I think after the initial attraction kind of dies down. The lust dies down. There has to be the thing that engages you.
L.A.'s a pretty, warm, easy, breezy place. You can sunbathe, get a Mai Tai, and wake up five months later. And it's still sunny. And they're still serving Mai Tais.
What's so great about TV is that you can get an opportunity to tell really rich stories, over the course of so many hours. It's like a novel of this type of medium.
If you're smart you're just gonna be all about the work. But as a young person, you want to going out to clubs and doing all the stuff. I'm just glad I survived it.
Nuclear apocalypse - who do you need? Actors are probably not top of the list. What can I do for you? I can pretend to be somebody who can grow you some nice crops.
I've done quite a few adverts. I've also done some presenting and acting work in Spain. I did a lot of Spanish education videos for people wanting to learn English.
Hillary Clinton has made a lot of dough out of being a politician. I gave up dough to be a politician. I'm sure that Ronald Reagan gave up dough to be a politician.
As a teenager I was crazy about David Bowie. He was a huge inspiration for me. I dressed a little bit crazily in school and dyed my hair every colour under the sun.
I'm English and I'm used to coming from a world of period dramas, where there's a very polite restraint to everything. Everybody's sort of sitting in drawing rooms.
You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
I made a choice in my career to not get hair plugs and not hide the fact that I was balding, and I've managed to play all sorts of characters who have shaved heads.
I felt like the world of baseball in 1919 was much closer to what A-ball would be now - guys riding buses, there's no training staff, and there's a lot of paranoia.
How I imagined myself being 50 is not how I am feeling now. You think you'll be different, but I still feel like I am about 12 years old - mentally, not physically.
It's funny because I went to a predominantly white school, but for some reason they always picked the musicals that were supposed to be done by totally black casts.
Poetry is something I love to do. Good poetry has an amazing ability to be communicative before it's even understood. I get emotional just from the beauty of words.
I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes you tell, nine of them have to get a really good response.
Freedom Summer, the massive voter education project in Mississippi, was 1964. I graduated from high school in 1965. So becoming active was almost a rite of passage.
Why would you be afraid of death? It would be an inconvenience. I have a lot of undone things and it's bound to get in the way. But, no, it doesn't scare me at all.
You know, many people who become famous and enjoy great success when they're young disappear after that. Maybe I've lucked out because I came back and went to work.