I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards.

There was no difference between my characters and the life my readers were going to have to face.

It's a mistake to try to avoid the unpleasant things in life... But I'm beginning to consider it.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

I never know if a book is crazy or not. There's that fear - this is the one that will end it all.

Even if I only had 10 readers, I'd rather do the book for them than for a million readers online.

The best years of a man's life are after he is forty. A man at forty has ceased to hunt the moon.

Art – the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

I used to live a very social life and never spend much solitary time looking at birds or reading.

My mother was a very literate person who had educated herself. She had an exceptional vocabulary.

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.

A lot of my travel is at least partly work, visiting schools and libraries, especially in France.

I don't do album covers or CD covers for groups or musicians I don't like or have no interest in.

A generation that hates war will not bring peace. A generation that loves peace will bring peace.

Leftists always want to... circle around subjects... rather than addressing any subject directly.

I have days where the only words I say are to the person making my sandwich at the grocery store.

Whenever I do a book, I'm usually guided by a question or something that I'm trying to tease out.

I've certainly played games that provoked a real emotional response or serious thought processes.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!

Mike Judge, who I've become friends with over the years never took himself seriously as an artist.

When we finish a book, why do we hold it in both hands and gaze at it as if it were somehow alive?

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I will do it again.

Hey kids, while you're out smashing the state keep a smile on your lips and a song in your hearts.

Grime is not like messiness or some fingerprints on a cabinet; it takes a long time to accumulate.

When sadness happens in the middle of work, I separate my personal grief from my train of thought.

I still do some inking here and there and I've actually got a book that I'm going to ink entirely.

German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

In 1908, you could easily earn $20 to $200 as a cartoonist. What's amazing is that it's still true!

The first book that they gave me was Jeannie, a young teenager. I went on with her maybe ten books.

I'm a pointillist, just working my tiny little piece of the canvas. I'm not so good at perspective.

If you wonder which is the stronger sex, watch which one twists the other around her little finger.

Really, though, I just want to make the kind of comics I wouldn't be embarrassed to read in public.

He who fills His pockets with the Rocks of Misdeeds shall surely sink in the River of Good Fortune.

There's some brain damage, but it may be that very brain damage that allows me to do the work I do.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

For horror movies, color is reassuring because, at least in older films, it adds to the fakey-ness.

It wasn't until I discovered comics that I actually began to approach drawing as a possible career.

Ship small art. Then, ship medium art. Then, ship world-changing, scary, change-your-underwear art.

I think I feel a little differently than other people do. For some reason I've never felt grown up.

Clever modern man is so witless that he thinks moral silence and empty conscience are an advantage.

With my pictures, what I hope is that it encourages the reader to imagine more pictures of his own.

I want a career writing these novels that I can be proud of. And then I want one as a screenwriter.

I never wore a watch. I always depend on public clocks, and stores have clocks, but that is strange.

Bob Dylan will be thirty years old this month..." "That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

What made me want to go into doing comics was I was working as a laborer with my father, a gardener.

I had no television when I was little, just a stack of old, beat-up comics from the 1950s and 1960s.

I actually start drawing things. Usually they're abandoned before I commit too much time and effort.

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?

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