“ My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. Rodney Dangerfield Comedian
“ Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?' Rodney Dangerfield Comedian
“ Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. Ray Romano Actor
“ Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. Mark Twain Author
“ My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing. Jessica Alba Film Actress