If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than ...

If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than humans.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in ...

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, ...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Mind is never a problem. Mindset is

Mind is never a problem. Mindset is

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good ...

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your ...

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is ...

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently ...

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

Ask the young. They know everything.

Ask the young. They know everything.

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the ...

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

The male - I have found - is a domestic animal which, if treated with ...

The male - I have found - is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.

Part of the reason for the ugliness of adults, in a child's eyes, is ...

Part of the reason for the ugliness of adults, in a child's eyes, is that the child is usually looking upwards, and few faces are at their best when seen from below.

Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that ...

Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no ...

You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. ...

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human ...

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

God help the patient.

Hemingway was a jerk.

My life needs editing.

All geniuses die young.

What does he stand for?

Better laid than never.

Write drunk; edit sober.

I think; therefore I am.

I like children - fried.

I'm sorry. I don't recall

All for one; one for all.

A pear is a failed apple.

They are cutting medicare

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Character doesn't matter.

Vote early and vote often.

Wit is educated insolence.

Talkers are no good doers.

Life's too short for chess.

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

The President's very shrewd

Fate laughs at probabilities.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I would have made a good pope.

The heart wants what it wants.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

A witty saying proves nothing.

All men are equal before fish.

An innocent bureaucratic snafu.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

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