Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
Love, honor, and negotiate.
All diseases run into one, old age.
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
Presence is more than just being there.
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Seek Not Every Quality In One Individual.
If I love you, what business is it of yours?
Marriage is like a 5,000- piece jigsaw of the sky.
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from.
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
I believe marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman.
When a man is in love or in debt, someone else has the advantage.
Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.
The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Nothing is more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings.
I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.
The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life.
The appropriate age for marrige is around eighteen and thirty-seven for man
Be honest, brutally honest. That is what's going to maintain relationships.
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity, but in being uninteresting.
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason
Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together.
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
The wedding is where two people become one. The marriage is where they decide which one.
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
Old age has deformities enough of its own. It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.
