I have an incredibly dry sense of humor.

The righteous one has no sense of humor.

I don't have a very quick sense of humor.

We are at fault for not slaying the Jews.

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

I think I have always had a little humor.

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I can say that. I have a television show.

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.

I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't.

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Avoid popularity if you would have peace.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead.

The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

My good intentions are completely lethal.

It's not a stereotype if it's always true.

Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean.

In brief, sir, study what you most affect.

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

I was a poster child... for birth control!

My father was a small claims court jester.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

When life gets you down, make a comforter!

Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.

Splendid couple - slept with both of them.

If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!

It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

Jazz can be so serious, no sense of humor.

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

This is a pie chart about procrastination.

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

Half the people you know are below average.

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