Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Sometimes I... No, I don't.
Caffeine. The gateway drug.
Kosovians can move back in.
I get mail; therefore I am.
Death is an acquired trait.
At my age flowers scare me.
Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.
I'll have that one, please.
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
I'm a compulsive everything.
Life is just a bowl of pits.
I should like to be a horse.
What else is nature but God?
Humor is the mask of wisdom.
A metaphor is like a simile.
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Our priorities is our faith.
I had my coat hangers spayed.
I was skydiving horizontally.
Her Majesty is not a subject.
I have a dark sense of humor.
I think pimp, therefore i am.
A joke's a very serious thing.
Come, agree, the law's costly.
This shed does not contain me.
Thirty millions, mostly fools.
It's very hard to write humor.
The plural of spouse is spice.
Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
Another day gone and no jokes.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
If it gets laughs, it's funny.
Marriage is the death of hope.
The sky already fell. Now what?
Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution
The big ballpark can do it all!
I have three kids, one of each.
When all else fails, look cute.
Nothing is stronger than habit.
I got my start in silent radio.
I do pauses, pauses work for me
Humor is the mistress of tears.
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
Theres no drama like wrestling.
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
Quality requires your Presence.
I call my balls the bush twins.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.